Teenagers – FUCK EVERYTHING!

I have been getting some fuckin emails from kids just sproutin hair on their balls and getting into the fuck game. Their experiences range from fluffing a titty to straight up fucking. The same shit keeps popping up about not hooking up with a bitch they can, so that they can get the bitch they want. They think that the lesser bitch (popularity or looks) will ruin their rep and the “target” bitch wont hook up with him bc it will ruin her rep. This is all a MYTH! Between the ages of 11-18 (high school years) FUCK EVERYTHING!

See, high school is the only environment where the rules are reversed. When your a fuckin man, bitches get turned off by a guy who fucks every bitch they come across (unless you are rich, famous, or a long island legend….then they dont care). That is why you have to do like Hewas do…..and keep the bodycount secret.

But if your a teenager in High school you are supoose to fuck everything that winks at you. WHY? because bitches in high school want to know what all the hype is about. They will say to themselves “why are all these bicthes fuckin him and letting this fuckin guy feel up on their titties”, to the point where you actually make them feel LEFT OUT. (Also fuckin all these bitches will increase your naturally fucking abilities. Its like going to practice for a sport.Practice makes perfect. ) Slaughtering all this teenage puss will give you the confidence to hit on any bitch. Even the one you got your eye on. If she turns you down, say shit like ” you probably suck in bed, ur a bad kisser, or call me when you do big girl shit….like fucking” This will piss them off, but more importantlly hurt their ego where they wanna prove to you they are a “big girl”. Eventually, they all fall.

Also, fuck evry girl from high school early, bc they will pig up after that. Catch them in their prime. Also they will be “old news” once you enter the club world and start going out and see what other FISH is out there.

-Chin

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FUCK VEGETABLES!

Im going to set the record straight with all you fuckin shitheads talking about “eat vegetables, eat grean shit, eat fuckin carrots. Fuck carrots! i aint bugs bunny and this aint no fuckin cartoon!

All these vegan pussies and old fucks trying to sell us  juicers are fuckin full of lies or just retarded. Eat greens to feel good? eat broccli because its like teh fountan of youth? Really asshole?

Let me ask all you vegan pussies this question….if your a 5 year old and u eat fuckin spinach like popeye and then get into a fist fight with me, will u win? Not unless you have a fuckin gun ! And if your an old shriveled 70 year old, and u eat vegatbles, can you fuck like  a 18 year old? Can you lift as much weight as a fuckin 21 year old male who benches next to you in teh gym? NO! Why not?…..I thought greens and vegatbales and gay lettuce is the fountain of youth?

The only REAL fountain of youth and life is HORMONES you leaf eating faggets! TESTOSTERONE! JUICE! STERIODS! PERIOD! That is why the 5 year old is a pussy and the 70 year old has a limp dick. Give a 5 year old a shot of test and he will be the only mothafucka with a beard on the playground giving concussions in dodgeball. Give the 70 year some Sus, and he’ll be fuckin like a chicken hawk! So, if you had to bet on what is the fountain of youth……is it a piece of celeary or steriods……EXACTLY!

FUCK VEGETABLES!

 

-Chin

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You wash YOUR hands Bitch

Here is a blog by another legand from long Island Shit Pesci. We call him shit Pesci because he looks and talks like the bootleg version of the real pesci. Like danny devito and arnold in twins. Most will know him as “Meatball” from his epic days at oneonta college. Here he writes about when people say you should wash your hands after going to the bathroom…..

“Wash Your Hands.” Here is a debate I have had with every woman I’ve ever dated. It usually starts with a “you’re gross”, I know you didn’t wash your hands after you went to the bathroom. Yeah, you’re right. The only soap I own is in the shower and Im not taking a shower every time I take a piss, so just deal with it. I only wash my hands after I drop a duce. Actually, I only wash my hands if I drop a duce and get shit on my hand while I’m wiping. (woman says)Well fine, then dont come near me until you wash your hands properly….you’re disgusting. How would you like it if I didn’t wash my hands after I used the bathroom? (Man replies) I really wouldn’t give a shit. In fact, go to the bathroom right now and when you come out I’ll lick your hands like you just finished a 10 piece from KFC. Whats the point of washing your hands? To kill bacteria so you don’t get sick right? My hands are out in the open touching everything…. coming in contact with public bacteria. My dick is in my pants all day. (Unless its Sunday and I’m masturbating heavily. The lord made sunday a day of rest, I dont know of anyway to relax better than that). So, if there is anything I should wash after I take a piss, its my dick. And if washing your hands is so good for you then how come ever woman ive dated is the one who gets sick first in February when cold season rolls around. Its because you have the immune system of a fetus. By not washing your hands so frequently you give your immune system small doses of bacteria to fight off, thus making it stronger over time in preparation for flu season. (woman)Well then by that rationale, why don’t I just take a shit on your head? Lets get you prepared for this years cold season early.

– Pesci

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There is a hurricane coming to FUCK up long island….TIPS

Dont have much to say except that this hurricane irene bitch has the potential to fuck up my weekend….literally. Suppose to hit long island and is stronger than hurricane gloria in 1985. Most losers go out and buy fuckin food, generators, flashlights, etc. Fuck that! I’m not letting this bitch ruin my weekend. You give me lemons and I make Long Island Ice tea!

#1 – Line up hangin out with giirls u haven’t hooked up with yet. go thru that fuckin phone. Then make all kinds of fuckin promises to them like u will take them here, there, whatever the fuck. Next thing they know, there is fuckin 150mph winds and we cant live the house. The lights are blown out so the environment is naturally romantic (maybe a candle or 2, fuck buyin a generator….dont let that bitch get distracted with electricity), and you dont have food so u will have to live off of each others sweat. Seriously, my boyz and I stage this fuckin play evertime shit weather disaster shit happens. There is nothing left to do, but FUCK! use this disaster as an opportunity, not a tragedty. it would be a tradegty if u sat home by yourself in the dark and couldnt even jerk off to porn bc your computer is shot. Seal the deaal with a fresh kill. ….worst case scenario, call the back up hewa u blow out every week.

-CHIN

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Kim Kardashian married a guy that aint Black…..

I usuly dont givea fuck about celebrity bullshit, but peple keep messaging me to comment on this Kim kardashian shit. Here’s the fuckin deal. This bitch is obvouisly hot, has a plump ass and titties, but has had more black guys in her than fuckin popeyes chicken.  She dont even look like she can fuck right based on what i saw on dancing with the stars. Now all the sudden this sucka comes along and marries this bitch. Whats wrong with him? Wheres your pride? Everybody knows she was the caboose on the night train and he is wifing this african punching bag. That fat ass is contaminated. Knowing a guy that fuckd a girl already skeeves me (i’d still fuck her, but skeeved when I first find out). Now knowing it was a horde of black guys is even worse. Bottom line: She will break up with him because of her craving for black cock.  She is beat, he is more beat, This blog is beat, and if your a white girl and fuck black guys, BEAT IT! Kim Kar-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT! This is karma for her father representing O.J

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Joey Headz Personal Trainer Breakdown

Joey Hedz here, my good friend from childhood, talks about every type of fuckin trainer u see in the gym today in his Gym Gospel. Tell me this shit is not true and Hedz is not a fuckin Gym Guru…I dare u!


THE GYM GOSPEL – By Joey “Hedz”

This blog is attacking the personal trainers.  Their is so much shit I can say so I’m just gonna get started on the type of trainers we got, please feel free to add:
1)  The  Slob :  This trainer is actually fat and it amazes me that people are actually paying for their services.   The fact people listen to his/her advice baffles me. This trainer doesn’t even have a picture in his/her office when they were in shape  .

2)  The Toucher:   This “male”  trainer somehow finds a way to touch his female clients during EVERY exercise.  I sometimes look at an exercise that definitely doesn’t require touching a persons body  (ex: tricep pushdowns)  and say, “how the hell is he gonna touch her on this exercise“……..but they always get the touch in.  Obnoxious but….well played by the trainer

3)  Pee-Wee Herman:  This trainer is so skinny and doesn’t have a hint of any muscle.  Juice for crying loud if you have a hard time gaining weight.  If it wasn’t for the shirt that says “trainer”, nobody would think working out was in their routine.

4)  The Cheerleader:   This guy cheers for his clients, claps it up and brings a lot of energy to the workout . I gettit, a trainer needs to motivate but its a little too much sometimes.

5)  The Freddy Roach :   Did you ever see these schmucks holding the mits for their clients.  The client looks like a spaz and the trainer is usually more clueless then them holding the mits.  Its just a bad look for everyone.

6)  The Innovator:  This trainer goes to some personal training seminar and tries to eliminate traditional methods of training that have worked for decades.   Next thing you know, you got some fat fuck client balancing on one of those big ass red balls, another person strapping some elastic bands on their feet walking like a duck, and another idiot with a weighted vest.

7)  The Canseco:  This guy or girl is so juiced up, i feel its difficult for them to not write stuff like  “ Deca-Durabolin”or ” Winstrol” when their writing the diets/training plans for their clients.  Take steroids= get big     should be their sales pitch and they slap a picture of them down on the table and say “see”.

8)  Master Trainer:  Does anybody see these dickheads or is it just at some gyms ?  Theirs trainers who have “trainer” on the back of their shirts and others that have “Master Trainer”.   Give me a break, what is it, another 4 hour course and $200.00 extra for the “master” label.  Should i bow to these “masters” when I enter the gym ?

9)  Gumby Trainer :    When they have some hot girl as a client,  this trainer puts her thru the most intense stretching program we have ever seen.  They hold hands,  they do the stretches together (some of the stretches seem made-up) and stretch for like an hour.  Listen, again, well played by the trainer but….. apparently, their fat clients don’t need to stretch

10)  Trainer for life :  This trainer has had this client for as long as you’ve been in the gym and you haven’t seen ANY progress at all.  TIme to move on for the client…… something is not working, it just looks bad for the trainer and is bad marketing overall.   ” 6 months with this trainer and i’m still a mess”

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Why I wanna Fuck Lil Kim even though she is black and I’m racist……

 

If you fuckin know me, you know i’m fuckin obssessed with Lil Kim. I wanna fuck her guts out. Those of you who also know me know that I’m racist. and not racist like, wear a fuckin white hood and hate people racist. I’m racist like everyone else is. I FUCKIN JUDGE YOU WHEN I SEE YOU! you all fuckin do it and its racist. nothin wrong with that shit. u see a guy with a fuckin towel on hi shead, u think terrorist. u see a black guy in your neighborhood, u lock your doors (or get a bat if your from Howard beach). Everyones fuckin racist, i just have the balls enough to admit it! If you see a tiger in the jungle, will you go up and pet the tiger OR based on the fuckin tiger sterotype, avoid that mothafucka at all costs? EXACTLY, so u are racist against tigers!  The tiger has to prove he wont eat me, and even then, you still have in the back of your head that if you pet him, that at any fuckin second…..he CAN eat u!Thats your tiger racism

So with that shit on the table, I dont normally fuck with black bitches anymore. but Lil Kim sings about suckin dicks, fuckin, deepthroatin,all that nasty sex shit. That shit turned me on and got in my head at a young age. With the combination of her being black, i want to passionately love/Hate fuck her. Then she went and bought some big fat titties, showed she can move her hips on dancin with the stars and now that bitch is older, which means her fuck skillz are even better. I fuckin hate rap music these days too, so that would make me fuck her even harder.  I met her once on Long Island at Eclipse nite club and she was nice as fuck. Before i could talk shit to her, one of her fuckin goons started a fight and she was drag out of there. This is the one bitch thats in my head. Lil Kim if you reading this, let me get a date. Anybody that knows her, forward this shit to her, forward this shit to people who work for her, forwrd this shit to people who know people who work for her, whatevr the fuck you gotta do. I’d drink cancer just so I can get in with the “Make a wish foundation”…..and wish to get that bitch on my magicstick

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